Learning that a family member has a serious illness is as devastating as learning you are ill. If you are the main caregiver, taking care of them will exhaust you. In many ways, it is tougher being the caretaker because you never totally understand how the person is feeling. If you have just had an operation or you are suffering from pain, you can move your body or shift your position. If you feel severe pain, you know it is time for a pill or some rest. If your loved one is in pain, you never really know if they are fine, even if they say they are. You cannot control their body until they really are feeling better. This can be stressful, especially if fixing a problem makes you feel better. Sometimes all you can do is wait patiently and offer them emotional support. In other cases, something is not working the way it is supposed to and you can do nothing to fix it. All you can do is support them and love them. When couples face fertility problems, it can be tough for the spouse who does not have the specific health problem because it may not be fixable. You can visit a fertility clinic for advice or assistance, but that may be your only option. To make things more complicated, your spouse may be concerned you are disappointed in them for not being able to create children. Problems like this create stress in a relationship.
Another issue those helping a family member through a medical problem face is financial strain. Serious medical problems have a tendency to be very expensive, even if health insurance covers a portion of the cost. If a couple is coping with an illness and one continues to work while the other is focused on healing, there may be some resentment between them, especially if the worker is paying the medical costs. The ill person may feel like a burden which can also strain relations. Worse yet, if there are children involved and they are feeling neglected because the focus is on healing an illness, there will be a whole other set of problems. Parents may feel inadequate and kids may act out if they do not understand the situation.
The best thing a family can do when dealing with a medical issue is to keep the lines of communication open. This can be tough if the focus is on other things like visiting doctors and paying bills. If people feel guilty, that can wear you down too. As a family, vow to work through the stressful times together. Agree that any feelings anyone has are fine, as long as they are discussed and not judged. Just because someone feels a certain way does not mean they are going to act on their feeling. Illnesses are tough for families. If you and your relatives have a medical challenge, deal with it as a family.
